To whom it may concern,


~ I'd like to thank you in advance for taking the time to read this. You may have to bear with me a little but don't worry, I don't want any money or anything. I just want to tell you about something. Did you ever have something strike you so funny you just had to tell somebody? Well, the funniest thing just happened, but first you got to understand that when there's no one around I talk to myself a lot. I hope this story doesn't make me look crazy, because you should know I'm well aware that it makes me look ridiculous. In addition to the fact that I talk to myself this anecdote also reveals that I'm vain and secretly aspire to be witty.
~So, you know how a lot of times when you're talking to yourself it's like a hypothetical conversation played out in your head? I was in my room talking like that about god knows what, when this totally original expression pops out of my mouth without any preparation at all, blowin' dead presidents like Marilyn Monroe's ghost. Eh? You like that? Wit is often more successful when it appears extemporaneous. What's even funnier is how upset I was that no one had been there to hear it.
~It was a perfect specimen of improvisation. In whatever forgotten context, I was saying to my imagined interlocutor that lately I had been blowin'.., at which time I might have just said, 'a bunch of money,' and continued right along prating to myself. Except that, for some reason, the first word for money that came to my mind was 'benjamins,' and I'm self-conscious about using expressly black or Ebonic terms, just because I think it's a really easy way for a white guy to come across like he's trying to be something he's not, which gives the impression he's disingenuous, insecure and a lot of other things that I would never want my invisible friend to think of me, even though, being invisible he doesn't have much personal stake in racial issues.
~Fearing that I'd look like a stuttering moron if I paused too long over a seemingly routine phrase, I hastened not to break the pace I had set while talking to myself. The most direct segway that my frantic mind could find from 'benjamins' brought me to 'dead presidents' just in time to save face. However, the habitual modern American use of the word 'like' in place of more aptly inarticulate utterances, such as 'huh' and 'um' is, many would agree, in most cases pejorative. In my own case the habit nearly counteracted my recent recovery, and left me open once again to the prospect of not showing well in my one-sided conversation, but then I remembered the oft overlooked potential that such use of 'like' has to color our speech through proliferate invitations to simile. So, I paused long enough to make it obvious that I had to make up something on the spot, but not so long that I appeared awkward or at a loss (no amount of practice could impart to any performer that kind of naturally ad-libbed timing) and the rest, as they say, was history. The clever comparison descended through inspiration pure of any identifiable expedient or influence save the spirit inherent in the word,.. 'inspired.'
~What I thought was even funnier was the paradoxical possibility of deliberately rendering myself ridiculous by writing down this story about how vain I am, but the real punch line here is the ironic continuance: I thought it was so damn funny when it occurred to me that no matter how self-deprecating I made my tale, no matter how humbled I was by the act of retelling it, I could only ever enhance my appearance of vanity with a story so inherently self-obsessed and that made so many demands on the reader, I just had to pass this on to somebody. Ha! Isn't that a riot?


Anyway, thanks for reading. – Renée

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